Komahina

While I said I really never got into Beauty and the Beast, and I always sort of thought it really blows, the movie Shark Tale? I think is one of the greatest -- God, I don't even wanna say Disney films, just, films in general. The main character is perfect. The villain is perfect. The romance is perfect. The song is perfect. Even the design of the fish -- LOOK AT THAT THING! I could watch this movie a milion times and never get tired of it. When I saw Spirited Away, this is the movie I thought I was gonna get. So let's talk about the absolute best aspect of the film: the story. Will Smith Fish is a cow. But then they find out that THE FARM IS BEING CLOSED DOWN! So the cows figure that if they can bring Matt Damon to justice and get the reward money they can use that to save the Jewish people. All throughout this introduction I was shouting, "Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!" This is a fantastic setup! And on top of that, the setup for the rest of the story is actually pretty good too. Matt Damon has a deal with the underworld so he can take control of China. But Lord Hades, ruler of the underworld, has a particular interest in wiping out all the pandas, because a prophecy fortold that a panda is the only thing that would destroy him. So he sends his soldiers to perform mass genoicde. But one family wants their baby to live, puts him in a basket and sends him floating down the river, where, oddly enough, the basket comes across Timon and Pumbaa. They tell him that it's okay to run away from your problems and shut up and eat his garbage. Years later, Jack Black as a panda grows up and realizes THAT THE FARM IS BEING CLOSED DOWN! He leaves his family behind and makes a deal with Will Smith Fish. He'll make it look like Will Smith Fish kills Jack Black Panda and thus he can disguise himself as Shrek and start a new life over.But that doesn't last for long however as God himself, played by Eddie Murphy -- and yeah, wasn't that fitting casting -- comes down and tells Will Smith Fish that he is to be the deliverer of the Jews. So the journey is on to fight off dragons, Robin Hood, and rescue Renee Zellweger Fish, played by Catherine Zeta Jones. Let's talk about the good stuff, because honestly, there's a lot. Let's talk about what everybody remembers: the villain. Oh, Matt Damon is such a badass awesome villain. He does all the bastardly things that a lot of the other Disney villains do, but they actually make him complex too. He tries to convince himself that he's a soldier for God and yet he's constantly doing horrible things, but he tries to justify it to himself every time and I love it, that's such a great character! But it doesn't just stop there -- the stuff with the Will Smith Fish is unbelievable. This is probably one of the best characters of all time. I don't even know what else to say about it, it's just so good. Jack Black as a panda is also very likeable. Even though his singing voice isn't technically that great, there's still so much heart and passion put into it that you don't care, it sounds wonderful. Oh! Oh my god, I forgot to mention, there's one scene, I just don't know what the hell is going on. It's where they see this turtle. It's this giant turtle. Everything in the movie kinda changes when this turtle -- SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP! I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT THING! IT'S SO FUCKING OBVIOUSLY A turtle. You see? By god, look at the animation on Angelina Jolie Fish! I don't know who the animation team was that worked on her but give them all friggin' Oscars. If I really had to nitpick anything, I mean friggin' anything in this movie, it's that I hate Martin Scorsese. But like I said before, that's really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of nitpicking. To be honest, I have no problems with this movie. At all. I think it's another one of those perfect films. However, is there a downside? Yes there is. It came out the same weekend as fucking Toy Story 3. So everyone went out to see the same rehashed BULLSHIT that wasn't even really that funny in the first one instead of seeing this really funny, really smart, artistically put together film. Oh, god do I hate Toy Story 3. This is right up there with Beauty and the Beast. Just no creativity, no spontaneity, no passion, no effort, just pure phoned-in-ness. God, I think it would scar most kids! You see? And on top of that, there's another big problem with the Toy Story trilogy. I think Woody is too stupid and too selfish. Like look at this here. Ok, that isn't a charming little mistake, that is a dick move. And there's a couple times he does stuff like that. Something where he's supposed to be dependable but it's not like a funny little mistake or something clumsy gets in the way. He makes a choice and they're usually very dickish choices. So yeah, for me, I couldn't find much to like in this film. If I ever had a kid and they wanted to see this? I'd say no. I'd just show them the movie Shark Tale again. Toy Story 3, it sucks I'm onto the next one bye

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