Wilber

Wilber is the het ship between James Wilson and Amber Volakis from the House fandom.

Season 4
97 SECONDS

House splits the applicants into two groups based on gender, where Amber requests to be on the men's team. After the men's team are penalized for poor time management, they are put in House's office in time-out and are told not to speak to each other to avoid them figuring out a diagnosis with their extra time. Amber urges that they still talk and Kutner realizes that a camera on House's computer has been recording them the whole time. Amber crawls under the camera and out of the office's back door, coming in through Wilson's office while he's explaining an experimental treatment to a patient. She says, "I was never here" to him, and then leaves through his office to meet with the women's team.

UGLY

House comes to Wilson's office for support on the fact that his newest applicant, a former CIA agent he met on a previous case, is distracting his diagnostic skill by distracting him with her beauty. Wilson asks House if any of his other female applicants are having the same effect, bringing up Thirteen and saying "the bitch is pretty," referring to Amber by House's nickname for her.

FROZEN

Throughout the episode, House makes mention of Wilson dressing nicer than usual, theorizing that he's seeing someone, likely at the hospital. Whenever House asks, Wilson denies House's suggestions or avoids his questions altogether. At the end of the episode, House ambushes Wilson waiting for his mysterious girlfriend at a restaurant. House tells Wilson that he has the potential woman narrowed down to three possibilities, vaguely explaining that it must be someone new in Wilson's life but someone that House also knows. They talk about how House solved the case before Amber interrupts them. Wilson stands to greet and kiss her while House looks confused. Wilson asks if Amber was on House's list of potentials.

DON'T EVER CHANGE

House and Wilson get to the elevators at the same time and House interrogates Wilson about his choice of Amber to date. Wilson explains that him and Amber have a lot in common, responding to a quip from House that he enjoys strong women. House argues that Wilson likes needy, not strong, and asks if Amber is dying somehow. The two get in the elevator and House anticipates the relationship lasting only two months. Wilson offers a bet of $100, to which House says that it's not fair to start a bet with such a conflict of interest, when Wilson tells House that they've already been dating for four months. House asks why Wilson would hide this from him, and Wilson argues that he doesn't have a needy type. Wilson asks if House is planning on talking to Amber separately and House says that he has no choice. Wilson walks to his office annoyed, and House asks why he's not arguing against the idea. Wilson tells him that he's broken his previous pattern of failing relationships with Amber and that he understands if that fact makes House suspicious enough to look around. He tells House to get it out of his system if it'll make him feel better. House walks to his own office and asks his fellows if any of them knew Wilson and Amber were together. They all act surprised, but Kutner tells House that he knew because he asked Amber out recently and she said that she just started dating someone else.

House breaks into Amber's home and waits for her to come back from running an errand. She is wearing Wilson's McGill sweater. House offers to hire Amber back if she promises to break up with Wilson, and further claims that she's only dating Wilson to get close to House so that he'll hire her again. She sarcastically agrees that it's a good plan and he almost believes it before recognizing that she's lying. She asks him to wonder if she really is dating Wilson just for him, or if she's dating Wilson to get back on House's team, and House tells her to give Wilson his sweater back before leaving.

House follows Wilson and Amber to a restaurant and Wilson apologizes to Amber, but Amber says that it's fine. She calls House Greg, because they are now socially equal. House still calls her "cutthroat bitch," and then says "quod erat demonstratum" (Latin phrase used to denote a proof of one's scientific claim), explaining that he speaks in Latin because he doesn't hide that he is an annoying person. Amber says that she assumes House will want to join them at their table so that he can better observe their interactions, and Wilson says that they'll never get seated to eat because the restaurant is so busy. Amber responds by walking over to a waiter and beginning to annoy him for a table, which Wilson weakly protests before letting her go. House makes a joke at the expense of Wilson's masculinity, and Wilson says that Amber takes every similar interaction extremely seriously. House calls her the "anti-Wilson," and Amber gestures for them to follow because she was able to convince the waiter to seat them. Wilson smiles and House notes that her domineering attitude is what attracts Wilson to her in the first place, that he's not just dating Amber for the sex like House had previously assumed. As House describes Amber's dominant persona, he stops and realizes that he's describing many of his own qualities, and tells Wilson that he is essentially sleeping with House, before he leaves the restaurant in a hurry.

While conducting another differential, House looks out of the window of his room to see Wilson arriving to work and goes out to meet him. He says that he went to Wilson's hotel room in the morning to see that he had moved out and moved in with Amber at her apartment. Wilson jokes that he actually moved in with House, according to their conversation the night before. Wilson then launches into a tangent about the fact that it would actually be a good idea to date House, because they'd known each other for years and still stuck together despite several setbacks, and that they were essentially already a couple. House asks, puzzled, if they're speaking metaphorically. Wilson brings it around to say that House would understand that Amber is exactly what he needs in a partner if House wasn't so self-loathing. As Wilson walks away to his office, House stops him to say that Amber isn't exactly him, but a needy version of him, and Wilson sarcastically says that it's hard to imagine a needy House. House then calls Wilson's bluff that him and Amber had been dating for only a few weeks, not four months, because Wilson started seeing her after she was fired by House. He says that she is needy because she was in a bad place mentally after House fired her and that's when Wilson started seeing her.

House calls Amber into the differential room to talk with him, and House is surprised she showed up at all. She says that she's confident whatever he called her in for will be interesting to her. He tells her that if she can solve the current case, he'll hire her back onto his team, and she asks if there's a clause requiring her to break up with Wilson. House says there is, and Amber sits to ask House why he thinks that Amber needs some ulterior motive in dating Wilson in the first place. She leans in to explain that through her entire life, she thought she needed to either choose love or respect, and that she feels that she's finally found both in Wilson, and it feels better than any fellowship. As she gets up to leave, she guesses that the diagnosis could be Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation, and House tells her that she's changed. She says that she hopes she has, and he tells her that her diagnosis is incorrect before the two smile at each other and she leaves. As House leaves the hospital, he stops by Wilson's office to peek his head in and tell him that he could do worse than a female version of him.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY

House comes into Wilson and Amber's apartment to ask Amber about "joint custody" of Wilson. Amber asks Wilson to deal with House, but Wilson says he doesn't know how to when House is actually being reasonable. She disagrees, saying that this proposition is crazy and that Wilson is an adult that can make his own decisions. Wilson tells Amber that this proposition is House's way of accepting their relationship as legitimate. House proposes every other day and every other weekend with Wilson, and Amber says that House can have Wilson on Wednesdays while she has yoga, but to have him home by 11pm, and she agrees to alternating weekends. House asks for Mondays as well as Wednesdays and keeping him until midnight but Amber disagrees. House asks Wilson to make a ruling, but he refuses to get involved. House and Amber reach a stalemate.

The three show up to Cuddy's office asking for Cuddy to act as a judge for their custody agreement. House compares her to King Solomon. Amber says that Wilson isn't assertive enough to make the choice for himself, so they need Cuddy's help. Wilson just says that Amber and House both scare him too much to piss off one of them with siding with the other. Cuddy tells them that she will make a ruling on them only if House agrees to do his staff performance reviews. House reluctantly agrees and Cuddy asks Amber what she offered House, siding with her proposition.

That evening, Amber comes to drop Wilson off at House's apartment 16 minutes later than agreed, and Wilson explains that it was his fault because he had to take a shower after him and Amber had sex. House is disgusted and sends Amber away. Although House tells Amber that they plan to go to mini-golf, the actually go to a bar so that House can get Wilson drunk. Wilson says that Amber will kill him for coming home drunk because they won't be able to have sex again if he's too drunk. However, House denies that based on asking Wilson's ex-wives about similar scenarios. Wilson asks why House wants to deliberately get Amber upset, but House is interrupted by a call from the team about the case. After hanging up, House admits that he did get Wilson drunk just to provoke an argument between him and Amber, but doesn't explain why.

The next day, Amber, House, and Wilson meet in Wilson's office to discuss that House brought Wilson back to Amber drunk, but on time. She claims that House is trying to ruin their relationship either because he's afraid Amber will make Wilson miserable or because he's afraid Amber will make Wilson happy and he won't need House anymore. She says it doesn't matter which it is, because he won't stop until either he breaks them up or Amber stops House from interfering. She proposes changing the custody agreement to include penalty clauses to allow fairness, and House agrees, but tells her to figure out the clauses on her own time and makes her leave the office. Wilson asks House where Amber is wrong in her judgement of House, and House doesn't have a response. House tells Wilson that he wanted to tell him a secret, but that he can't anymore, because he know that he'll just tell Amber and it won't be a secret anymore.

House finally tells Wilson his secret, that he faked having syphilis so that he could trick his team into thinking he was becoming nicer to them on the penicillin medication. He then asks Wilson to go bowling with him on Amber's time. Just as House predicted, Amber comes into the patient's room while Taub and Kutner are doing an ultrasound to tell them the truth. They ask why she would tell them and she says that she wanted to ruin House's day and leaves. Because House spent time with Wilson on Amber's time and Amber told House's secret to his fellows, Cuddy punishes them both by having them work together to clean patients' dirty sheets. While working together, Wilson watches from behind a wall and smiles to himself.

LIVING THE DREAM

Wilson limps over to House as he's looking in nurse carts for a syringe. House asks if Wilson is mocking him, and Wilson explains that his back hurts from sleeping on Amber's mattress. House tells him to buy a new one, and Wilson asks if he's being sarcastic because the couple were thinking of buying a new one. House explains that Amber makes everything more high-stakes than it needs to be and that she's actually going to be looking for a mattress she wants, not one that the both of them will agree on. House tells Wilson that the mattress shopping venture will only result in another mattress Wilson hates and he will be unable to tell Amber what he wants.

At the mattress store, Wilson and Amber lay on a bed to try it out. Wilson says that he likes a previous mattress and Amber says that she likes the one they are currently laying on. An employee says that the mattress is a good choice, and Wilson asks for the price. After hearing it, Wilson is about to ask about the mattress he wanted before Amber interrupts him to start a lie about them to get sympathy from the employee so that he will bring the price down. She asks if they would be able to buy it for $500 off the original price, and the employee says that he'll have to check with his manager to be sure. As he walks away, Amber's pager goes off and she tells Wilson to hold her purse for him while she looks for it. It is an urgent call from the hospital she works at and she tells Wilson that she has to go. Wilson asks if she wants him to get the current mattress or if he should leave with her. She tells him that he should buy whatever mattress he wants, because she won't mind either way. He asks if she's sure, and she says she is, she just wants to help him break it in after. She kisses him on the cheek before leaving.

Wilson calls House to tell him that he was wrong about his first idea that Amber would steamroll him for her choice of mattress, that she's letting him choose the one he wants. House tells him that it's a trap, and that it's really passive-aggressive coded language to see if he'll buy the mattress she wants just to see if he really loves her. Wilson tries to assure House that Amber isn't passive-aggressive, but House tells him that regular aggressive people usually also engage in passive-aggressive behaviors. House ends the call to chase down a lead for his patient's case as the mattress store employee returns to tell Wilson that his manager said that the negotiated price for the mattress Amber wants would work.

That night, Amber and Wilson are making out as they make their way to the bedroom. Wilson pushes the two of them down onto the new mattress and Amber stops as she realizes that Wilson bought the mattress that she wanted earlier. Wilson is confused as to why she's stopped, and she sounds upset when she tells him that he bought the mattress she wanted. He says that he bought it because it was the one she wanted, but she asks why he would do that instead of buying one he wanted instead. Wilson asks if it's a trick question. She told him that he really was supposed to get the one he wanted, and he says that he got the one she wanted because he loves her. She pushes him off of her and says that his behavior was exactly what he did with all of his previous ex-wives, where he did what they wanted instead of doing what he wanted for himself and he ended up hating them for it afterwards. She tells him not to do that to her and that she can look out for herself, and then gets up to go finish some work, leaving Wilson confused.

Wilson brings House to the mattress store with him the next day. House asks Wilson which mattress he'll get, and Wilson embarrassingly tells House that he's always wanted a waterbed. House is shocked as Wilson tries to explain himself. He asks why House isn't mocking him for the choice, and House tells him that he's ignoring him because he makes him sad with the choice. However, as Wilson then tries to sell himself on why a waterbed would be a bad idea, House tells him that it's not a big deal and that he should get the waterbed if he wants it. Wilson says that Amber will think it's a stupid idea. House assures him that it is stupid, but that he should go through with it anyway, before leaving to solve his case.

That night, Amber turns in the waterbed to find that Wilson isn't there. She walks out to find him laying on the floor of the living room. He tells her that he hates the waterbed, and she smiles and says that she likes it. He says that it's awful and that they're returning it the next day, and she smiles again and agrees, happy that Wilson is finally choosing himself over her. She joins him on the floor and tells him that she's glad that he got it anyway. He says that he is too, and hopes that the store will take the bed back. She assures him that they will as she cuddles up to him more.

Fanon
On AO3, Wilber is the most written ship for Amber and the second most written for Wilson. It is also the seventh most written ship in the House M.D. tag. There are currently 140+ written works.

Fandom
FAN FICTION