Twiver

Twiver is the het ship between River Song and the Twelfth Doctor from the Doctor Who fandom.

The Husbands of River Song
The Doctor is summoned by Nardole, believing him to be a surgeon. He reaches the space ship to see a woman in a cloak, he asks if he knows her, and she replies that he doesn't, removing her hood and revealing that it's River. The Doctor is ecstatic to see her, but she doesn't recognize him and is confused as to how he knows her name. She decides to ignore it for now and leads him onto the ship. He asks what she needs him for and she explains that her husband is dying. This shocks the Doctor and he believes he's about to meet his future self.

She leads him to her husband, which is revealed King Hydroflax. The Doctor tells Nardole he doesn't like him and River tends to him. He becomes increasingly annoyed at the way River talks to the King. She takes the Doctor to an adjacent room to discuss the operation. He tells her the joke is over and tells her he's the Doctor. She misinterprets it as a real Doctor and shows him a hologram of the kings head, revealing a diamond that was causing the King to die. He recognizes the diamond as the most valuable in the universe. She asks if he can remove it. He thinks she means the diamond, but she actually means the head. This shocks the Doctor since it would kill Hydroflax, and River reveals she married the diamond more than the man himself. This is what she's like when he's not around apparently. She informs him that Hydroflax is a war lord and no one would be that upset if they killed him. He starts to thinks and she says that he reminds her of someone. He thinks she's going to say him, but she means her second wife.

Hydroflax suddenly appears, having heard the whole thing. He takes off his head revealing that he's a cyborg. He threatens the two and River defiantly tells him she's going to get everything he's stolen back to the right people. She grabs her sonic trowel and uses it against his bodyguards, but can't take out the cyborg body of Hydroflax. The Doctor grabs the head and tells it to leave her alone. The robot body begins closing in on River and the Doctor per Hydroflax's orders. However, River threatens Hydroflax's head with her trowel, causing the body to halt. Despite Hydroflax ordering his body to attack, its AI tells him to chill as there is a high probability Hydroflax will be harmed. River shoves Hydroflax's head in a gym bag she has, despite his protests that it smells; she radios her contact Ramone, to teleport her and the Doctor.

The two end up a foot above the snow and fall. Annoyed, River radios Ramone, telling him to work on the landings. Hearing Hydroflax threaten them, the Doctor bursts out laughing. River tells him it's not funny; however the Doctor points out the ridiculousness of being threatened by a bag. They both laugh as Hydroflax continues to yell threats. The Doctor now thinks River was just messing with him, asking if she really does know who he is. River states that she does not, as Ramone arrives; River pulls him into a kiss. The Doctor is annoyed. River reveals Ramone is another of her husbands. The Doctor sarcastically asks if she's going to murder him as well.

Ramone informs River that he has not found The Doctor, despite his capsule being in the village. River asks Ramone if he's sure as he has twelve faces. Ramone unfolds twelve pictures, which are of the First through Eleventh Doctors; he adamantly states that none of these men are in town. River is angry as she crashed the ship in this location, since it's where she had the best chance to meet up with the Doctor. Deciding to tease River, the Doctor states that he may have a face she doesn't know about; knowing the Doctor wasted a regeneration, River states that he has "limits." She decides they need to go find him.

The Doctor follows River and Ramone to the TARDIS, where River states she'll just borrow it. Taken aback by this, the Doctor notes that "Damsel" sounds dangerous and might be angry with her for stealing his ride. River states that he's never noticed before when she borrowed the TARDIS and put it back where it was before, so why would she worry about it now. Aggravated to hear this, the Doctor states that he'll start noticing NOW. River sends Ramone off, and She heads inside, telling the Doctor that it's not as snug as it seems inside. Seeing it's his turn to play the shocked companion, the Doctor pretends to be shocked by the "bigger on the inside". She offers him a drink, which he's is shocked to see that River turned one of the roundels into a cupboard for alcohol.

River preps things for taking off; the Doctor suggests several buttons, which she explains don't help pilot. The Doctor learns to his shock that one button actually causes the waste tanks on Deck 7 to be released. Deciding to avoid Deck 7 for a while, the Doctor watches as River tries to take off; however, the TARDIS refuses to budge. With her confused, the Doctor reveals that the "real time" envelope cannot be sealed as the TARDIS registers Hydroflax as inside and outside at the same time, due to the head's life-support being connected with the robot body. Being called good for a doctor, the Doctor is annoyed River still hasn't figured it out. She suggests shooting the head, but The Doctor is against it when the head wakes up.

A knocking is heard on the door, with Ramone yelling for River. River opens the door to find Ramone's head on the robot body. It starts attacking, with the Doctor grabbing Hydroflax's head. He threatens to send Hydroflax down he trash shoot if he doesn't "get himself under control." This works, with River piloting the TARDIS to land in the starship Harmony and Redemption. To the Doctor's surprise, River pulls his hand instead of the other way around, leading him out of the baggage area and shutting the door behind them.

River meets the Maître d', Flemming. River asks him to deadlock seal the baggage hold, he tells her it will be done; the doors are locked just as the robot pounds on them to get out. Flemming asks if the Doctor is here for dinner, which River confirms; he grabs the Doctor, saying that he'll have the cooks prepare him immediately. However, the Doctor stops him and River explains that he will be JOINING her for dinner. Flemming leads them to the dinner room, hearing Hydroflax's muffled yells. The Doctor passes it off as his stomach being upset.

River stops, stating she needs to change her clothes. She takes out a perfume bottle and sprays herself, turning her clothing into a dinner gown. River smirks, The Doctor is taken aback. Taking a drink from a serving tray, River explains that the ship is full of people like her or worse, and one of them is going to buy the diamond. Suites are reserved for world destroyers. Even the staff need a provable history of indiscriminate murder.

In the dining room, River reads her diary as the Doctor fidgets nervously. The Doctor notes deadlock seals can be broken; "by geniuses" River retorts, and a robot body isn't going to be one. Seeing River frowning at her diary, the Doctor asks if it's a sad story; she notes the one who gave it to her knew how long it should be, and there are only a few blank pages left for her to write in. The Doctor says that the person sound awful, and River sadly agrees. He asks if it's someone special, and she takes a moment to say no, but he is useful.

A man with a large scar across his face walks up to them asking for Song. Introducing himself as Scratch, and is silenced by River, who asks if he's empowered to purchase. They squabble over showing the merchandise or the payment. Scratch pulls the right side of his head open, removing an orb; disgusted, the Doctor tells him that he shouldn't be doing that where people eat. The Orb gives access to every bank in the universe and he gives it too River. Happy, River gives him the bag, telling Scratch he might need a spoon to dig for the diamond. Annoyed, Scratch reveals that he filled the meeting point with members of his own species to ensure honest transaction.

Back in the dining room, River and the Doctor discover that Scratch and his compatriots worship King Hydroflax and are after the diamond in his honour. Despite attempts to hide the bagged head containing the diamond, they are forced to reveal the truth to create a distraction. Though it's considered heresy to try paying for the king, the Doctor laughs. They toss Hydroflax around and flee, only to be stopped by Flemming. The robot body enters; however, the body stops short and scans the head. The brain damage is now beyond recovery. It needs a new head and disintegrates Hydroflax, leaving the diamond behind, and the two are captured by security.

Flemming takes River's diary, explaining it is a guide to the the Doctor. River orders him to give the Diary back and makes a grab for it, but is held back. Flemming reads the diary aloud and she tells Flemming that the more she reads it the longer she's going to take killing him. He asks her where the Doctor is but she has no idea. He doesn't believe her, since she's the woman the Doctor love's. She doesn't believe so, the Doctor has never loved her, even though she love's him. The Doctor looks on as she tell them that the Doctor doesn't fall in love, and would never do something so ordinary. Flemming tells the body of Hydroflax that the Doctor will come since River is in danger, but she calls him a moron. The Doctor isn't coming, and they can scan the whole thing, and the Doctor tries to interupt but she ignores him. She doesn't know where he is, but he's not giving a damn about her while there. She yells that she's fine with it; loving the Doctor is like loving the stars, which will never love you back, and if she were ever in danger the Doctor is not in love with her enough to be with her through it. Out of breathe she turns her head to look at the Doctor, and after staring for a moment she realizes it's him, and he whispers "Hello Sweetie."

Seeing how dense she's been, River tells him he'll be doing his roots, as the Doctor taunts her with the romantic poetry she used to describe her love for him; she then tells him she was just buying time until "it" happens. The robot body tells them to stop talking, but is ignored. River asks the Doctor where the safest place would be if a meteor strike were to hit, and the Doctor tells her right where they are as it doubles as an escape route. Flemming asks what she means as the speakers announce the meteors' arrival; he asks River how she could have known. Smiling her usual smirk, River tells him that she's the archaeologist that dug his remains up in the future. The meteors hit and the floor gives way, allowing the Doctor and River to flee into the lower floor.

They do their best to stabilize the other once the fall, and the Doctor asks what she thinks of his new body. She wants to see the rest before she decides, and asks how he got a new one. He just says that "a thing" happened and they start to plan their escape route, deciding to head for the bridge.

In the bridge, the Doctor finds the crew gone and River working at the controls. They start arguing over the marriages that the other had; the Doctor married Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra, while River married Hydroflax,. Ramone and Stephen Fry. While the ship is crashing, River realises that they are heading towards the planet Darillium. River remembers that he always promised to take her there to see the Singing Towers, but always canceled at the last minute. The Doctor retorts "I'll make sure to give them a wave as we pass by." Trying to save River, the Doctor tricks her into being teleported back to the TARDIS. However, she pilots it back to him. As they have entered the planet's atmosphere, they give up on saving the ship and take shelter in the TARDIS. The resulting impact of the crash knocks River unconscious.

Realizing it's time to have his last night with River, he gives in a time travels to when there is a restaurant built in front of the tower. River awakens in the TARDIS and she walks out to the restaurant where a hostess tells her that the Doctor is waiting. As she walks to the balcony he appears behind her with a present. She opens it to reveal her own sonic screwdriver. He tries to compliment her but fails, although she appreciates him trying.

They reach the balcony and River stairs at the singing towers in awe, as he watches her. She turns to see him crying, and realizes that something is wrong. She asks why he sad and he asks it back. They both know her diaries nearly full, but he doesn't want her to worry. River starts to realize what's wrong and she tells him how there are stories that they spend their last night together is at the singing towers. She asks if there true, but he whispers spoilers. She realizes they're true, and expects him to find a way around it, but he can't. They can't avoid this forever. They have to end, just like everything else. Happily Ever After is the lie they tell, since the truth is so hard. River tells him he's wrong, that Happily Ever After means that there's time, even if it's not forever, not that he'd ever understand. He asks what she thinks of the towers. She love's them, but she can't expect a monolith to love you back. The Doctor agree's but the towers have been there through everything, but they'll always be there, and the song will come when it's needed.

River realizes how much he love's her and ask how long the night's are on Derilium. The Doctor tells her that it's twenty four years and she begins to cry tears of joy. She says she hate's him and he replies that she doesn't. They lean into each other and smile happily.

Moments

 * River and The Doctor discuss the technology behind Hydroflax's body
 * The Doctor tells River that he hasn't laughed in a long time
 * River sarcastically responds to all of The Doctor's "reaction" to the TARDIS
 * When the Doctor says that one of the Route's is too tight, River hopes he's not being personal

Fanon
Doctor Who fans had been waiting to see the River interact with the twelfth interation of the Doctor since the start of Capaldi's run. The fandom was split on the episode in which the two interacted. However most enjoyed the two's interactions. Some felt that the two had better chemistry than River and the Eleventh Doctor. Giving the couple more even footing, at least in emotional maturity.

On AO3 it is the second most written ship for the Twelfth Doctor and the third most written for River song, but for The Doctor in general it is the second most written. It is the ninth most written in the Doctor Who (2005) tag.

Fandom
AO3

Tumblr