Cloan

Cloan is the femslash ship between Cleopatra Smith and Joan of Arc from the Clone High fandom.

Season 1
HOMECOMING: A SHOT IN D'ARC

Joan dresses up as a man in order to join the boy's basketball team at Clone High to help the school win against their rival school, GESHH. She comes into a practice as her male self, John D'Arc, and makes a shot that Abe misses. Cleo asks dreamily what her name is after she makes the shot. When the practice starts, Cleo asks Joan why she's never seen her around school before. Abe joins in angrily to ask who John D'Arc is a clone of. Joan then comes up with a convoluted story that the real John D'Arc was an explorer. After her story about her clone father, Cleo says that the story is a turn-on.

While Joan is sitting on a bench outside as John, Cleo comes up and calls her handsome. She sits with Joan at the bench and asks when Joan is planning on inviting her to the homecoming dance. Joan says that she thought that Abe already asked Cleo to go, and Cleo says that Abe isn't as good of an athlete as Joan is. Cleo then takes out a banana from her lunch and starts eating it sexually in front of Joan. She then takes out a small carton of milk and pours it on herself to try to attract Joan. Joan tells her that she's not interested in Cleo like that, and Cleo says that she doesn't understand as she sprays herself with whipped cream. Joan doubles down and says that she's rejecting Cleo before walking off. Cleo laughs at the idea that someone would reject her, and says that something's off about John.

At the actual basketball game against GESHH, Clone High is losing again because Joan keeps trying to pass the ball to Abe, who keeps missing the shots. Scudworth steps in to try to make Joan do the free-throws to guarantee some points, but she refuses and reveals herself, taking off her disguise. The stadium is shocked. Cleo is disgusted at first that she was flirting with Joan, but then says that the idea is hot. Joan has no reaction to Cleo's reaction, as Cleo mutters the last part to herself.

A ROOM OF ONE'S CLONE: THE PIE OF THE STORM

During an intense storm that hits Exclamation, Joan's house is struck by lightning and burns down, leaving Joan and Toots homeless temporarily. The next day at school, Abe and Cleo come over to Joan arm-in-arm and Abe asks how she's doing. Joan assures him that she's fine and doesn't need his pity. Cleo then asks if it's true that Joan and Toots are currently living under the school's gym's bleachers, and Joan tells her angrily that she definitely doesn't need Cleo's pity. Cleo keeps pushing, though, and says that she brought Joan an old dented can of beef broth and a stained old t-shirt from her house to try to help her. Cleo makes fun of her for being poor, and Joan threatens to throw the broth can at her. Abe stops them and tells them how much he hates conflict. He says that he loves them both, Joan in a platonic way and Cleo in a passionate romantic way, and then walks off with Cleo on his arm again, glad that the three talked.

Cleo assembles the students in the gym for an assembly she calls a "Pity Rally for Joan of Arc." She talks to the students with a megaphone as Toots and Joan watch from their makeshift home under the gym bleachers. Toots calls Cleo Joan's friend, calling her generous. Joan refutes his statement, calling Cleo a "hoe-bag" and explaining that she's not her friend because she's showing pity just to make Joan feel even worse about her housing condition. Toots then says that Joan doesn't need to worry about being homeless anymore because he was able to find them another home. Joan is excited until Toots reveals that it's actually Cleo's home, because he has been dating Cleo's foster mother for a while and she agreed to let them stay with her and Cleo. Joan is horrified at the idea.

That evening, as the storm rages on, Joan and Toots move into Cleo's house. Joan walks into Cleo's bedroom, which they will now be sharing, and comments that the pink room is her personal hell. Cleo offers her the smallest single-door dresser to put her items in, which Joan puts the beef broth can in. Cleo then produces a stack of papers and tells Joan that she has to sign a number of non-disclosure agreements to live with Cleo, which include not sharing any of her personal moments, like what she looks like without makeup in the morning and her bowel movements. Abe then climbs into Cleo's window and asks how the two are doing, calling them his "two favorite girls." Joan asks Abe angrily whether he likes Cleo because she's conceited or because she's a whore. Abe is taken aback and tries to laugh it off when Cleo snaps back, asking Abe if he's friends with Joan because of some elaborate joke or just out of sympathy. Abe laughs the argument off and tells the two that he thinks they should do a trust fall to solve their issues, where Joan falls back and Cleo catches her. He is so confident that his idea will work that he leaves through the window and doesn't watch to make sure it goes well. Joan falls and Cleo doesn't catch her.

That night, Joan has to listen as Abe and Cleo make out under her bunk bed that she shares with Cleo. Abe then comes up to her level and asks if she knows how to take off a bra. This angers Joan and she jumps off the bed to Cleo's level to tell Abe that Cleo's will fall off on its own once he takes the tissues out. Cleo is upset and tells her that she broke the NDAs she had to sign. They are about to fight when Abe gets between them again and says that he learned from his conflict-resolution class that the girls should paint their feelings about each other. As Abe gets the paints, Joan says that she's going to paint a dividing line in the room to separate their spaces. Abe says that her idea is a great one. The next morning, Abe comes back in to find that his idea failed, and that Joan is going crazy trying to kill Cleo, as Joan drew the dividing line horizontally across the room because of their bunk beds. Abe tries to hear both of their sides, but ends up falling out of the window when the girls throw flaming items at each other and the collision causes an explosion.

The next night, as Joan is trying to sleep, Cleo hovers above her bed and is about to smother Joan with a pillow when Joan wakes up and asks if Cleo is trying to smother her. Cleo makes a comment at Joan's flat chest and Joan uses her feet to push Cleo's head against the wall. The two end up off the bunk beds and Joan tells her that it's time for a pillow fight to officially work out their differences. They then have a pillow fight that turns into the two suggestively wrestling each other and ripping each other's clothes off in the process. Eventually, the end of the episode ends with Cleo and Joan magically solving their differences by opting to silently hate each other instead of outwardly voicing it. They are shown repainting Cleo's walls pink together.

Fanon
The appeal in Cloan comes in the idea that the two are enemies. Most of the pair's interactions in the first season are negatively charged, especially after the two move in together when Joan's house burns down. When it comes to the second season, the two hardly interact, but the interactions they have had have also been negatively charged. The ship is a rarepair, with only 10 fanfictions on AO3, but more fan art on Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram.

Fandom
FAN FICTION

TUMBLR

Trivia

 * The scene in "Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc," where Cleopatra said that it was hot that she had been flirting with Joan has recently been attributed to being foreshadowing of her canon queerness shown in Season 2 as she dates Frida Kahlo.